Bible Humors

  • Inference!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    Professor : Now report your inferences, what is a water molecule made up of? Geological Student : Sir, its H2O5NaCH2N3COOH3CaOH! Professor : What…?!? Which water did you test? Student : Our municipal water sir!

  • Fortune-teller!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    A miser was once accosted by; a fortune-teller, who told him:”Sir, for a rupee, I will read your palm and tell you about your fortune.” “My good man, “ said the miser, “have you read your own palm today?” “No! Why?” asked the fortune-teller. “Well, if you had,” answered the miser, “you would not have […]

  • Humor of the day
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    The lady answered the door bell to see a quiet looking little man standing there with a black bad in his hand. “I’ve come to tune your piano,” he said. “We have a piano,” she said, “but I didn’t call anybody to tune it.” “I know,” he said, “but your neighbours did.” – Judson KC

  • Einsteinian quotes it seems!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. Imagination is more important than Knowledge. Greater spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds.

  • Today is the day!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    Why did the Moron take his little boy to school a day before the re-opening? Because his wife had advised him “Never leave anything for tomorrow what you can do today”.

  • Invention!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    Teacher: How did Edison’s invention of electricity effect society? Student: If it weren’t for him, we’d have to watch television by candlelight.

  • You did it!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, “You were much better than the preacher we had last Sunday. He spoke for an hour and said nothing.” “Thank you,” the visiting preacher replied. “Yes,” she continued, “You did it in fifteen minutes.”

  • If there is wind there is way!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    George goes out on a really windy night to walk over and visit his friend Sam, who is sick in bed. Several hours later, George drags his weary body into Sam’s house and collapses on the couch. “I tell ya, Sam,” George says, exhausted, “it is just brutal with that wind out there. For every […]

  • L-board!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his neighbor storms out of the house straight to the mailbox, opens it, slams it shut and storms back in. A little later the neighbor storms out and does the exact same thing again, before storming back in even more red-faced. As the man was […]

  • Now they are smarter!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most […]

  • What happened?!
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    The pastor called all the children up to the front for the weekly Bible story. Little Jimmy listened intently to the story of Lot.  The pastor said, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Very concerned, […]

  • A note to the incharge
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    Please check these announcements on the notice Board of Ministry : Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will […]

  • On the phone
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    The husband knows his better half well by now of her weakness – taking long hours to answer a single phone call. But taken a back to see her finishing that one in 15 minutes, surprise took over him which he expressed it out. “Who was on the phone darling?” “Just a wrong number dear!”

  • Kill and eat
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    A missionary to Cannibal (man eater) : I understand that you kill people and eat them. Cannibal to Missionary : I understand in your country you kill people and don’t eat them.

  • Favourite hymns of a speeding driver
    Posted in: Bible Humors

    45 km/hr – God will take care of me 55 km/hr – Guide me O great Jehovah 65 km/hr – Nearer my God to thee 75 km/hr – Nearer, still nearer 85 km/hr – This world is not my home 95 km/hr – Lord I am coming home. 100 km/hr – Precious memories

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